Usually people come to me because they have tried extremely hard to help themselves but can't overcome certain issues. A person may come to me in a crisis because, for example a relationship has ended or someone close to them has died. Alternatively, a person may come because they have been living with some problem for a very long time and have just decided that they can’t fix it on their own. I believe that it is an act of strength to know when you need help and to go and get it.
Common Issues that I work with:
- Grief about the loss of a relationship
- Difficulties in having or maintaining satisfying romantic relationships
- Transition to parenthood
- Profound loss due to the death of a loved one
- Infertility or difficulty conceiving
- Questions about sexual or gender orientation
- General anxiety or specific phobias
- Obstacles to achieving success in work or school
- Depression (Great sadness, loss of pleasure and enjoyment, feeling that it’s hard to get things done, trouble sleeping, etc)
- Childhood trauma that is having negative impacts on current life
I bring a deep curiosity and respect for the people who come to me and provide careful and compassionate listening. Creating an environment that feels safe for someone to explore difficult emotions is one of my primary goals.
You may wonder how talking to me is different from talking to a friend. For one, I am there solely to help you. With a friend you have a reciprocal relationship. You must keep their needs in mind (e.g., have I been speaking too long? Am I offending them? Will they still want to be my friend if they know how I really feel? Now I owe them.) With me you are talking to someone who is trained to guide you to face important emotional truths that you may be avoiding.
Another important task that I help people with is to create a more accurate narrative of their life history. This means seeing one’s life as the complicated thing it is, to see good along with the bad. Research has actually shown that people who are able to have a sophisticated life narrative are more able to have children who are securely attached to them. Having this narrative seems to be a very strong preventative against the pressure we all have to repeat problems from our childhood.
People find that as they come to know themselves through therapy, they are able to come up with their creative solutions to their problems. They may notice that they are not taking part in self-destructive behaviors that had plagued them most of their lives. They can have more satisfying relationships with others and more success in work. In general I find that over the course of a successful treatment a person will become more kind to themselves and others.